"Holy Spirit, help me get up so I can get to Mass on time."
I closed my eyes again, thinking there was no way the Holy Spirit could overcome my exhaustion, when my body lifted itself up from the bed and started walking toward the bathroom. I chuckled.
While I was in the shower, I thought about how completely at the mercy of God I am. "Jesus, I am yours wholly and completely. I am nothing without you and neither do I wish to be without you. I offer you everything that I am and everything that I have, even the sadness of the loss of the life in my womb. My life is yours; do with me as you wish."
I made it to Mass on time.
After Communion, I decided I wanted to spend some time with Jesus when Mass was over. Knowing that He is truly present within me for about fifteen minutes after Communion--while the species of bread and wine remain--I wanted to pay attention to Him while He was still there. There is no better time to talk to Jesus face to face.
The final blessing came and most of the 6:30 regulars went on about their day. As I knelt in my pew, I began to contemplate the reality of Christ's suffering on the cross, and of Mary's grief as she lost her Son. My minuscule pain didn't compare to theirs, but I knew that they knew my pain nonetheless.
My tears gushed forth in the comfort of the presence of heaven.
Longing for God,
The Catholic Wife